Tuesday, April 29, 2008

Evolution of Husbandkind

Husband has been evolving during this whole "pregnancy" tenure. Men generally "don't get it" because they aren't the ones dealing with the physical manifestations of carting around babies in the womb and generally don't worry about things until they are a problem. Husband's apparent point of view: Babies - yes, we should plan but really, we can wing it. Remember that great vacation where we read the guidebooks on the plane? I am obviously a list maker and planner - I was all over deal closings as a junior associate since I refused to be the reason a deal didn't close or was delayed.

What a difference a big pregnant belly makes! In all honesty it was also two encounters he had last week. I may prattle on and on about how our lives will be different, how much work is involved, what I've read we can expect from my favorite blogs, but sometimes you need a third party to put it in perspective. Husband had lunch last week with a former colleague who had a baby a while ago and raved about a "baby nurse" she used and how crucial it was to helping her get sleep. Then he visited his former boss who had twin girls last August and who generously gave us some adorable baby clothes (for Baby B of course) and equipment. He couldn't believe the "stuff" that is required (after a look around her place) and of course she shared her own stories about how much work twins are.

When I went to my first Mothers of Twins meeting last night, Husband instructed me to find out if it would be worthwhile to have paid help - clearly he has been thinking seriously about it. I had a chance to speak with two members before the meeting was underway and before I even asked I was told in no uncertain terms - "GET AS MUCH HELP AS YOU CAN" - family, friends, paid if you can swing it. Today, of his own free will without my proding (have I mentioned he still hasn't closed out our building permit from our kitchen remodel that was finished in September?), Husband contacted one of the recommended baby nurses to see if she is available (and she specializes in twins). We'll try to swing 2 weeks of help although we'll need to review our budget. I keep trying to get Husband to guest post about financial planning. This is definitely good from my perspective if I need to (or opt to - but that is for another post) have a C-Section and will be less mobile for a few weeks. Plus the nurse can help me figure out how to breastfeed (apparently the hardest thing to do) and figure out some semblance of a schedule and what is "normal" for eating/sleeping/etc. Hmm...I wonder if Husband is doing this because he is afraid all the care will fall to him if I need to rest after abdominal surgery.

I think this is one of those services that some may interpret as an overindulgence but I know my limits and I'm happy we have enough resources to be able to consider this an option. What do you think - worth the cost or self-indulgent? After we speak with her in more detail I'll post other relevant information (cost, timing, responsibilities) in case any of my local pregnant readers are interested.

Quick babies update: I'm already on the twice a month doctor's visits and today was the day. Both tykes had nice strong easy to find heartbeats and apparently my cervix looks good (TMI?). My awesome nurse Toni even told me if I ever get worried about the kids she is on triage on Thursday and Friday and I can come in for a heartbeat check. How great is she? I think I've gained around 15-20lbs so far but to be honest I don't really know what my pre-pregnancy weight was. I also got my first "so you must be expecting" statement at work - I love the shock when they ask me if I know if it is a boy or girl and I say "one of each" with my excited smile.

1 comment:

What A Card said...

If you need the help, and you can afford it, I'm sure it would be nice. But if you can't, don't let yourself get scared. We have no family in town, and had no help when our twins were born. It went fine, and was in fact fun if a little tiring :)

Of course, we didn't have any major colic issues, which I'm sure was a big help. But on the flip side, I had a c-section, gall stones, and surgery to remove my gallbladder by the time the boys were 2 months old. So it wasn't all sunshine and roses. But really, it was completely doable and in many ways so fun. I hate for parents-to-be of twins to think they MUST have help. You can have help, if you want, but if you CAN'T for whatever reason, don't sweat it. You'll do great!