Wednesday, July 9, 2008

Hardcore Softie

Yesterday the partner with whom I had been working called to tell me that one of our clients called to express his appreciation for our work in getting the deal signed and had "great things" to say about me. Apparently Partner then told Client that I was 7 months pregnant (don't think he mentioned the twin thing). Partner and Client agreed that I was "hardcore".

Now hold on a second...I don't want to be hardcore. And I didn't during this deal - it just had to get done so I did what was needed.

Partner then goes on to say he was glad when I shut off at night and went to bed. Are you kidding me?! Could he not have told me this DURING THE DEAL so I could have not felt like I was letting my team down by going to bed? This shows what a terrible manager Partner happens to be. I do my best to set clear expectations with my junior associates.

Husband says that I am "hardcore" whether I think I am or not. He thinks I always had a choice not to work. I think that is true on some level whatever you do for a living but I was raised to be a team player and to do a good job - standards I cannot shake despite being pregnant.

8 comments:

Theresa said...

I say this all with love and concern - I think that setting limits/boundaries (ie, going to bed, leaving the office at a decent hour, shutting off the Blackberry) and "being a team player and working hard" DO NOT have to be mutually exclusive. If fact, I would argue that they are very closely tied together. You should NOT feel guilty or (God forbid) LAZY for going to bed when you are tired. I don't know much about law firm structure, but maybe this partner felt that you would set your own limits and that you didn't need to be told that it was okay for you to go to bed? I think you've clearly demonstrated over the last five years that you are a VERY hard worker, and therefore have earned the right to take care of yourself.

awileydz said...

i would have been livid. good for you for showing restraint...
i think boundaries are a very good thing -- it's one thing to work through the night if it's really necessary and/or emergency, but another if it's just poor diretion by the partner.

Helen said...

Hardcore...yeah, well I think that we as a group have always been intense, overachievers. (secretly I've always liked that this has defined us)

However, as I begin my 9th year of teaching this fall, I am proud to say I know when to say "forget this, it isn't worth it" and let my clout carry me. I don't accept or deal with the stupidity of the administration.

KJ- You're entering a new and scary period of your life- shutting off from work for awhile, and pulling back when you do go back, is going to be hard for you for sure. Big Firm does not have to and shouldn't define you. You are still smart,a very hard work, and team player- your priority has to be a new team- Team Gerkin!

I'm glad we got this new message from Big Firm- shut off the flipping blackberry and REST!

Theresa said...

Well said H!! :-)

Goddess in Progress said...

I heartily second what Theresa and Helen said. It does sound like Partner is not a great manager, but you really should think about taking some BIG steps back. These last few weeks, if they're anything like mine, are going to kick your ass in a major way. Not to mention the first 6-12 weeks (months?) of having two babies to take care of. NOW is the time to put your feet up, literally and figuratively.

a crapshack in nova said...

You *are* hardcore. Why would you NOT want to be hardcore? That is a pretty great compliment, in my little world. Right up there with badass. :-)

In any case, you've been a team player all along. No one could doubt or deny that. But you can't let that come at the expense of your health (or your babies'). Put down the blackberry and back away slowly.

A. said...

We were raised with a clear sense of responsibility, and I have found time and time again that not everyone was raised with that same sense of obligation. Still, you definitely need to work against that tendency every day now, and make sure you take time for yourself!

OK, so now for the shameless self promotion - check out our new blog! Hopefully we can keep up with it...

And Helen, we're psyched for your blog posts on the new 9-0!

M. said...

OK, that didn't work the way I thought it would. The blog is www.uncontrolledexperiment.blogspot.com. Still obviously working on becoming blog-savvy!