Thursday, November 13, 2008

Crying Over Spilt Milk

I have been using my stash of frozen milk as their post-breastfeeding supplements since neither kid will breastfeed well. the thawed milk always seemed to smell a little off and had curdles in it (like when you pour bad milk into coffee). Penny refuses her supplements pretty consistently but Ned would eat them. Finally I tried some myself and decided I think my milk is sour. Some women can't freeze their milk and I may very well be one of them. I'm thawing some recently frozen milk to see if it is all bad but I suspect it is. That means I will be throwing away over 100 ounces of breastmilk. My sister Allison had the same issue with her milk.

Since you can keep breastmilk in the fridge for up to 8 days I can still get enough together to feed them every day and when I can't we will increase their formula from two bottles to include the supplements. Of course I'm so tired I'm not pumping as much. Such a vicious cycle.

To say I'm upset about the amount of time and effort I went into putting together a freezer stash is putting it lightly. Combine the kids inability to nap or sleep well at night and I'm pretty much an exhausted wreck. Last night I went to bed at 8 pm after the kids went to seep but since Ned was up at 1 am I'm still not caught up. Nanny is coming later today so I'm going to escape - but to Babies R Us and Target for kid stuff. Honestly it isn't the breastmilk that has me down but the fact these kids won't sleep or eat well and I can't seem to come up with a plan to guide them in that direction.

Okay both kids screaming - neither willing to nap. It might be a few more days until I can most some cute baby pics.


Sally said...

Oh, I'm so sorry about your milk! I know how hard you must have worked to build up that supply. I hope the sleep gets better for you soon.

Liz Jimenez said...

Oh, that's terrible! I remember almost completely losing it when I tipped over some pumped milk. It's precious stuff!! Having to throw it away would push me straight over the edge.

I wish I had good advice about the sleeping and eating difficulties, but the best I've got is that I think it's pretty normal for babies to go through a phase just like this, right around this very age. I know how hard it is, so you have my complete sympathies. All I can say is do whatever you need to do. If they'll sleep in the car, go for a long drive. If the swing works, do that. And if you need to set them in their cribs and step outside and breathe some fresh air for 10 minutes, do that.

And if you want to come to the Burlington Library story time tomorrow morning, or just come hang at my house to escape your own walls, do that too. :-)

LauraC said...

I'm so sorry to hear about the milk. That is the worst. All that time and effort to get those extra pumping sessions - just wasted!

My kids went through a similar phase around the same age. I sent an email to my MoM listserve and got a LOT of sympathy and hilarious stories. My favorite is a woman who would drink a shot of espresso every time she was too tired to function... but she had to stop herself after 12 shots each day.

It is hard, very hard.

T. said...

Oh, I am so sorry!! I have no words of advice, but I think that in between Target and Babies R Us, you should stop at Starbucks and get yourself a treat - peppermint mocha or something. Hang in there!

T. said...

Oh also [HUG]

Monica Marino said...

Oh, Kristin, I'm sorry. It's so stressful to feel that all your HARD pumping work has gone down the drain. If at all possible, leave the kids with Husband or Nanny and go out ALONE! Movie, coffee with friends, shoe shopping. I remember that even an hour or two out alone made a big difference.

Nancy said...

Oh no! I can totally sympathize. That sucks so hard. :( *hug*

I think I'd be a crying mess...I'm impressed you were able to put up such a composed post!

Want the "baby whisperer" to come hold a kid for a while? *grin*

Krissy said...

My frozen milk was always very yellow and smelled different, but it didn't look curdled. I am so so sorry about that. 100 ozs is a ton of milk! But on the bright side, pumping is easier than regular exercise, right? Think of all the weight that you have lost and if you have to dump the stash, pretend you are dumping fat cells down the drain instead!

I remember the no sleeping times. In fact, we had a flashback last night when Jonathan woke at 12:40 and screamed off and on until 4am. I have a major headache today and am grumpy. Not sure how anyone survives the newborn twins stage! It is so darn hard.

I second the starbucks comments. I went yesterday (there is one in our target) and had an iced decaf with sugar free caramel and skim milk. Yum!

The weekend is coming...maybe you can get a nap or two in then.

Donna said...

I know it isn't 100 oz but I left out my frozen milk from the other day and it sat for 14 hours - thawing and then just sitting there. I didn't know if I should use it or not. I ended up using it but wish I didn't. Since my little one seemed so hungry and off today. Plus my little one is teething - oh the joys. My older DS never had a problem teething. This one does big time! I hope you get some sleep soon. Just keep it in your mind that you do have the advantage that twins keep each other company in the toddler years (which is both a blessing and a curse -- so forget that). Anyway, hope you get some sleep.

Anonymous said...

So sorry about the milk... All that hard work. I know what a PITA it is to pump.

It may not actually be curdled (my milk always altered a bit from being frozen too) but you may have an excess lipase issue. The solution to that is to scald the milk after pumping. Check out

I am looking forward to seeing you tomorrow... I am bringing my Moby wrap and maybe my Beco too if I remember it. I can wear your babies all weekend long if you want. :-)

Gretchen said...

Big kisses from down here. I'm so sorry to hear about your milk - I know how hard you've worked to have that supply at the ready. Thinking of you!