Monday, November 17, 2008

Expectations

As I mentioned yesterday I probably have unrealistic expectations about how my kids should be sleeping and napping at 12 weeks. As this Slate article points out having expectations that are too high will result in stress to me. So true. The author also points out that if you are stating that:

If you find yourself saying, "No matter how hard I try and try, I can't make my kid do X ..." or "No matter how hard I try, I can't make my kid understand Y ..." it's usually a clear sign that expectation and enforcing that expectation are a significant part of the problem.

I'm going to try to keep that in mind and be less hard on myself and on them. Of course that is difficult to do at 2 am. I like the "work up to" advice. For now I'd like to have Ned work up to 3 am so if we can get him to go an extra 10 mins a night that would be a good start. And maybe we can do the same for Penny and her daytime naps.

Also, in case you were wondering, so far I have dumped 140 ounces of breastmilk down the drain that smell/taste funny. I'm still checking the later half of October and beginning of November. I can't keep up with the pumping since I've had to dump so much and our days are so busy with these wide-awake and fussy babies. This means all their post-BF supplements (up to 3 ounces per BF) are now formula. If I'm lucky I can keep up their non-BF bottles as being expressed breastmilk for another week or two (plus the 2 formula feeds). I'm sad that so much of their intake is becoming formula but I'm proud I've made it this far. I'm hopeful that each kid will get about 10-20 ounces of breastmilk per day as long as I can. We also didn't keep up the every 3 hours feeding schedule (too stressful on me and Penny) and we are back to 3.5-4 hours between feedings. I'm sure some moms would be jealous of that length of time but I get up a few times a night so it all balances out!

5 comments:

Nancy said...

Deeeep Breath. :)

I don't remember all that clearly - and you may not want to hear this, but I think it's normal for your kids to be waking "so much" at night still. I think you got super spoiled when they were sleeping for so long before, and they're just acting like normal little babies now. Don't worry - they WILL get back to sleeping for longer stints at night. You've probably just hit a major developmental stage that has disrupted things for a bit. I know - it sucks. *hug*

Natalie said...

you're doing everything you can and more for them and they are all the better for it. don't worry about expectations of yourself or anyone else or even any articles. maternal instinct is there for a reason and it's taken you the right direction thus far.

Donna said...

My 6.5 month old just decided that he would no longer sleep through the night. It has been an exhausting few days. On top of that my BM bags have been leaking and it is really getting to me. I sent my baby to daycare with mostly formula today because the frozen bags leaked all over as they thawed. I have an overnight meeting to go to this week. Because I cannot keep up with my one little singleton and his feeding demands, he will get mainly formula. My point? Don't stress. One is hard enough, I cannot imagine two! You did good to get so far. Give yourself a break and be happy.

a crapshack in nova said...

Hang in there! You're just getting to the point where routines will start to really "click" with them. If I were a betting woman, I'd bet that the next 3 months will be easier than the previous 3. You're doing a great job-- keep up the good work, mama!!!

Anonymous said...

My 14-month old still wakes us up at least once a night, others have kids that sleep through after 6 months. Some nights she'll have teething issues or belly-aches (infants fart, who knew?) and its up 5 or 6 times, other times she's out for 6-7 hours at a time. Gave up measuring and worrying a long time ago. She's gaining weight and height, smiles and laughs, points and shrieks, it's all good.