Friday, January 23, 2009

Like a Bandaid

Ned was in the room on Wednesday when Nanny and I were discussing how Penny was going to roll over soon.  When she's on her back she arches and rolls to her side - so she'll probably roll back to front first.  But little Mr. Center Of Attention decided to preempt (without any indication) and roll from front to back during a playdate on Thursday.  One second I'm looking at him on his tummy, next he's on his back.  Thank goodness all the other moms saw it or I swear I wouldn't have believed it happened. 

So, Ned can roll.  He eats 2 solid meals a day and lots of ounces of formula.  He weighs at least 14 lbs (based on Husband putting him on our not-very-accurate bathroom scale) and is 5 months old.  Why is this kid NOT SLEEPING THROUGH THE NIGHT?  I haven't posted about this but Penny has been sleathily sleeping through the night with an occassional set back when her acid reflux meds expired and she went back to her "eating almost nothing" ways for a few days before we figured it out.  [Note: just a warning for other moms who have their kids on Prilosec that is compounded - the compounding in liquid is really only supposed to be good for a few weeks (our bottles say 1 month).  Also, thanks to advice from Nanny we now hold Penny's nose when giving her the liquid so she doesn't spit it up. Works great once you get over feeling like somehow you're going to suffocate your kid (you won't)]. 

I am fed up with Ned's stubborness and decided it is time to CRY IT OUT.  Ned seems to "snack" more than eat in the middle of the night anyway.  It's been so easy to just let him snack back to sleep and I love when his head nuzzles into me when I move him back into his crib.  But I sure as heck don't want to be getting up in the middle of the night when I'm waking up at 6 am to get ready for work and honestly although we were making him CIO to not eat before 2 am it didn't seem like a clear message (he can't read a clock after all).  

I was going to wait until we saw the pediatrician next week just to check in with her (Penny is doing a 5 month weight check) but last night after bolstering from my playdate moms whose kids have been sleeping through the night since they were all 8 weeks old and a large glass of wine I decided to go for it.  

At 2 am Ned woke up (it is usually anywhere between 1:30 and 3:30 am).  Husband gave pacifier and we agree no more interference.  Ned cried.  And cried.  And cried.  But the "I'm angry no one is paying attention to me"; not the "hurt" type crying.  Man, this kid is LOUD.  He regularly wakes Penny up when I make him stay in his crib for 1.5 hrs for his morning nap (he prefers 1 hr our less).  She naps in the next room with doors closed.  I can hear him without a monitor in the furthest point in our house from their bedroom.  That's how loud he is.  Of course last night he woke Penny up so when he took breaks from crying I could hear her whimper a little but she eventually went back to sleep. 

After about an hour he started taking longer breaks between crying.  Around 3:30 am he stopped.  I of course couldn't get to sleep until about 5 am and they were up at 6:30 am.  Tonight is night two.  Most parents say their kids respond within 3-5 nights.  I bet Ned is extra stubborn. 

I know a lot of parents do the Ferber (increased time) method or some combination of soothing.  But (1) I'm a hardass, (2) I make him CIO for naps without any soothing or checking on him so I couldn't do it differently for nighttime and (3) I prefer to rip off bandaids quickly.  If we came up with some sort of "wait X time" all I'd be doing is watching the clock and might not keep it going.  Clear message to Ned seems the best bet.  Weissbluth and the other authors talk about letting your kids cry to go to sleep but the anecdotes are usually about when the kids first go down.  Going to sleep is not Ned's problem - it is staying asleep.  It is way easier to let your kids cry themselves to sleep at bedtime (sometimes we have to for Penny) than it is to listen to them cry in the middle of the night.  

To help steel my resolve I thought of what I'd write in this blog post, came up for treat ideas to serve at playdates, thought about items on my To Do List.  No wonder I couldn't get back to sleep! 

Ned still seemed to love us when he woke up this morning at 6:30 am.  I wish Penny would stand up for herself and let him know that he should sleep so he doesn't disturb her. 

I feel strong about my decision and know I won't break down.  It's not fair to Ned if I do and he gets mixed messages. I hope I remember that at 3 am tonight.  Husband is behind this 100% so we are keeping each other in bed even if we're not getting much sleep!


LauraC said...

Nate was very stubborn through CIO, but he was stubborn in that he would cry at the beginning of the night. It only took 5 nights in the middle of the night for him but it took 3 weeks for him to settle down at bedtime. We did Ferber (check at 15 min) and he would always cry exactly 14:30 minutes.

But after that... literally the only times he has ever woken up in the last 2+ years are due to high fevers or double ear infections. He slept through teething, countless colds and even vomiting (!!).

I think some kids just more time to learn to self-soothe. And man, once Nate learned it, he became a rock solid sleeper.

Jordan said...

Kristin, very cute picture of you and Penny (Ned?). Like the Sepia tone.

Anonymous said...

Can't believe the biggest non-sleeper of them all isn't taking Ned's side in this. Hmmm, what age and it being necessary to be alert for work does to one's thought process.

Liz Jimenez said...

Good luck and stick to your guns! Sounds like he's more than ready. I bet this will all be done in a couple of days.

Nancy said...

Oh man! Hats off to you guys for sticking it out that long. I'm such a weenie - I wouldn't have been able to :">

Anonymous said...

Wow, good for you. I hope Ned gets over this real quick. But it is good to hear the "old fashion" advice works!!! I let mine cry it out as well and they are both alive and healthy and happy and all that!!! Good luck.

Anonymous said...

We did CIO at bedtime for Josh at 10 months. After 3 nights he went to bed on his own without a peep. And he does apparently still love us. :-)

Chris said...

How did it go? Can't wait to hear about it on Monday!