Thursday, May 14, 2009

Time on the Outside

Husband mentioned last night that the kids have now officially spent more time outside of me than inside of me. I counted and 37 weeks was on Monday so he's right.

I had a relatively easy pregnancy (even the gestational diabetes was manageable) and birth. The kids were healthy ("full term" at 37 weeks), no NICU time, decent sizes (Ned was the smaller baby!), eating well and eventually sleeping well. In my mind everything was so hum-drum that I thought my kids were going to be "normal" in the milestone sense of normalcy. I certainly did not expect them to knock those milestones out of the park but that they'd be average. After all, I was a very (at the time) preemie and I crawled, walked, ate and talked on schedule.

All of a sudden in the last few weeks I feel like I have a preemie on my hands. Every ounce that Penny eats matters (I text the nanny after every feeding) and her weight is constantly scrutinized. Yesterday she weighed in at 13 lbs, 2 ounces, a 2 ounce drop in two days (not surprising given the Snot Monster). When I pick her up to hug her I feel like I'm going to break her somehow. Those are things you worry about when your kids are first born, not when they are almost 9 months old. I'm not even worried about her inability to roll, make apprioate "sounds" or spend any time on her stomach, just whether she eats.

So many families have to deal with much more serious medical issues (like this little girl Dakota that I shouldn't have been reading about yesterday) and I know we'll eventually get through this. It just sucks more when things were "normal" for quite a while and I feel like there is no reason for why she won't eat or grow. I just added a new blog tag - "failure to thrive" to my blog and that sucks too.

10 comments:

Stacey said...

I'm so sorry that this is such a stressful situation for you and Aaron. At least you can be comforted by the fact that Penny is a loving, happy child. It must be frustrating to not have any answers from the doctors. We are thinking of you and sending good thoughts to little Penny.

Donna said...

Oh I feel for you - how absolutely frustrating and so very painful as a mom. I think you must be one strong cookie to deal with this - I think I would be a mess. I hope you hit on the right doctor soon, the right diagnosis, etc. Penny is adorable and sweet, there are tons of possibilities for her - I think they are all bright. Remember she is interactive and *that* is very, very important in the milestone arena.

LauraC said...

I am so sorry there is so much stress! You are taking me right back to every single dr and PT appt we had with Alex, always worrying about developmental delays. It was the biggest joy to finally have him check out of PT, like this huge weight was lifted off my shoulders and I didn't need to worry any more.

May you find resolution soon!

Gretchen said...

Don't have any advice or words of wisdom other than I'm thinking about you all the time as you fight to find answers. Hugs!

T. said...

Same as Gret - big hug!!

Donna said...

I just want to add - even though I only know you through the internet and your sister - I'm spending far too much time doing searches to find out what is happening with Penny. I really hope you find out soon! She is such a lovely smiling little girl!

JRowe said...

The duchess also is hoping that her friend Penny will be strong and healthy, and sends her love to the entire Esq family!

Chris said...

Penny is such an adorable little girl! We're thinking of you all and hoping that you get some answers soon.

Abby said...

Kristin, I am so sorry you're going through this...I think eventually she will be just fine but right now I'm sure you're going absolutely crazy. I can't imagine how stressful it must be and I am thinking of you. Keep pushing to find answers (I know you will) and don't think of it as failure to thrive...as others said, she is happy and that's thriving in my book. Hang in there!!

jerseygirl77 said...

You WILL find the answers to this. And F the FTT diagnosis. It doesn't do anything to help you solve the problem, so focus on the details that will help you solve it. {{{{{hugs}}}}}