Sunday, February 7, 2010

Weekend Mishmash

I was looking back yesterday to a year ago - my last few weeks at home with these two:

Back then I knew I'd have rough periods like this one - working all the time. I haven't put the kids to bed in more than 2 weeks, working two weekends in a row, tired all the time. I've been doing a lot of rationalization lately - about how my dad worked and he didn't feel guilty about leaving my mom on the weekends to do so; that these are temporary periods of time; that the kids are still happy and thriving. Husband has been doing quite a bit of solo parenting but he does do a business trip once a week so he gets at least one night off (last week my mom covered while I worked until 11:00 pm the night he was gone).

Our nanny has been with us full time for a year this week so we are going to give her a raise. We are also planning on discussing with her the next maternity leave - I think we'll guarantee her 40 hours but have to let her know upfront she won't be getting the overtime she has been during my leave (she has been averaging 50-55 hours a week). Well, husband will have to discuss it with her since I'm trying to close 3 deals this week.

In toddlerhood news I am witnessing increased fighting over toys. In our case it is usually a writing board and certain books. Penny likes it when I write her name and she points at each syllable and says "enny". I guess the kids will be literate. I did laugh out loud when both kids were holding onto a book, pulling it back and forth and crying because each one wanted to control it. While sitting next to an entire basket of other books, of course. I'm trying to talk about "turns" with them but at this age it is hard so I just redirect - any other thoughts from others out there?

The do play without adult involvement more and more - Ned is better at it than Penny. She wants to sit by you and have you point out every animal, object, etc. in each book. Some animals she'll point to if asked where they are but it is funny how we always point out the horse and cow and she can never point them out when you ask her. That rules out 4H.


askabanter said...

They are absolutely too young to take turns. Redirection is the key, you are correct.

And why are you trying to rationalize anything? You are in control of your life and that is that. Don't let other people make you feel less than what you are because you have a profession and children. Be proud of the choices you have made and don't feel a need to justify them to anyone. It seems to me that you and your family are happy and that is the important thing.

Things are different these days. There are more options for us women (Thank God) and we should rejoice in this.

You go, girl!!!

Marcia (123 blog) said...

I think it's normal to feel like you need to rationalise things.... but in ______ (how long til you have the baby?) months, you'll be able to parent all you want :)

Yay to Nanny April for lasting a year!

Donna said...

I think the best thing is to redirect right now. It is so hard to teach them to take turns or share. They get into a lot of what I call 'baby fights'.

JRowe said...

Redirection! I say things like, "Duchess, it looks like Ned wants to play with that toy - why don't you use this one" or "Penny, the Duchess is still playing with that toy, look at this over here!" Sometimes it works!

Princess P said...

Hey you! First time commenter here- I also have twins and have a very demanding job. Not quite at your level, but I still relate. Anyway- you are doing a great job, and I agree with Mouth above- you don't need to justify anything to anyone. Your kids have loving caretakers at all times and enjoy having you there when you are there.

As for the sharing thing- my twins are also b/g and are just now 2 1/2. We have been practicing taking turns and they have really seemed to grasp it and DO it over the last couple of months. But it takes actually walking them through the steps of taking turns- using redirection as a tool along the way. Like JRowe said- "Ellie is reading that book right now, what's this over here" but then staying right there and when she puts the book down and moves to something else, "Good job, Ellie- are you done with that book? Now Simon- it is your turn to read that book." It seems to help by letting the one with the toy know that it is okay to keep the toy, finish playing with it, and then be DONE with it without having to have it back. It also lets the one waiting remember that it is only temporary and if they are patient, the other one WILL finish with it. There are always those "MY TURN NOW!" moments, but you can't solve it all, now can you... LOL Good luck!!! My 3rd is much older, so more of a help... I can't imagine having another infant at this stage! You are a Super Mom and don't you ever forget it!!