Monday, March 22, 2010

The Great Blanket Debate and Other Marital Wars

As I enter the "home stretch" of the last 2 months of my pregnancy (okay 10 weeks techincally)I am large and unwieldy. I eat pretty much everything in sight - especially mint chocolate chip ice cream and Utz sour cream potato chips. And pasta and burgers. Catching up on sleep and regular use of a heating pad has made back pain more manageable.

Husband's chief complaints are that I instruct him to "fetch and carry" for me while I lounge on the couch and that I insist on having the window open next to our bed. They don't call it a "bun in the oven" for nothing. I am now hot most of the time, waking up multiple times a night for long periods (sweating) and yet feel like I'm going to jump out of my itchy skin. It's all par for the course as I remember from last time and I told Husband to add a blanket on his half of the bed and suck it up.

My current crisis has been how much we have to get done in the next 8-10 weeks. Our yard/law/gutters are a mess (Husband won't let me hire someone), our basement needs to be organized, I have not started sorting through baby clothes or other newborn supplies, the nursery isn't set up (and can't be until May because of visitors), I haven't thought about summer clothes for Ned and Penny either, or our trip to North Carolina (by car) only 6 weeks after the baby is born, we need to come up with a discipline plan/method for dealing with Ned, coming up with a tentative "get in shape" plan for after North Carolina, etc. I'm going to start working on lists while I'm at work.

I hate that our weekends are so chore focused - I want to spend FUN time with my kids since we get to see them for such a little amount of time. They hate being dragged to Kohl's and to the grocery. I need to be better about doing things at night during the week if only allotting an hour each night.

How do you keep up on the chaos of home ownership and chores?

18 comments:

LauraC said...

We only maintain the choas via serious outsourcing. House cleaner, gutter cleaner, landscaper, window washer. Jon was reluctant so I gave him a deadline and when he missed the deadline, I hired someone.

ElizabethEK said...

I am with LauraC on this. We just hired a housecleaner after having this debate for YEARS.

Get someone to help you with this outside/yard stuff.

Seriously (and this is coming from someone who understands the whole BigLaw thing VERY well), why are you doing all of this if you can't hire someone to help you?

Susan said...

I guess I have to agree with the above two....if you choose to want to keep this pace going and you enjoy this pace....it leaves you no choice. There is simply not enough time in the day, pregnant or not =) If you both keep working these schedules and it sounds like you will (after maternity leave), you have to get help and that would mean hired help. Your schedule + the age your kids are with new baby almost here, ugh....house cleaner is a must. Good luck.

Susan D. said...

I agree with the majority ... hire help. You both work full-time, demanding jobs, you are pregnant, and it's not like you have much free time. Especially free time to clean gutters. I think it's worth the expenditure to keep your sanity in check and to spend more quality time with your kids.

Goddess in Progress said...

No question, hire people. They'll get it done faster and better than you will, and it will give you your free time. Absolutely worth the money. We have landscapers do fall and spring clean-ups and mulch. We have cleaners come every other week to keep our bathrooms and kitchen and surfaces in a respectable state of cleanliness. We're paying someone else to do the gutters. Totally worth it.

A. said...

Ask Andrew if you can hire him to do some work around the house (yard/gutter/basement stuff).

If I lived near you, I would totally come over and organize baby clothes for you. I LOVE doing that. Instead, I'll have to satisfy my urges by going through all of Lucy's old clothes and sending them to you. Not much help, I'm sure, as it will simply add to the clutter...

Stacey said...

Agree with Allison that you need to take advantage of having family close by. I have specific thoughts about who can help for what so call me :-) At a minimum I'm sure Marti would love to help organize the nursery!

Leigh said...

Delegate, delegate, delegate.

The way I see it, some things are not my strength...and if I can afford to pay someone else, then that's what I'm going to do.

Also I really hate using my free time for lots of work....I work to have a lovely home and I want to enjoy that home, not only work in it.

I agree with LauraC about the deadlines... I do that with clutter. I say, "okay, you have until _________ to sort out that pile of ______. If it's not done, out it goes" LOL (yes, I'm evil :))

Leigh said...

P.S. I have a list on the fridge "things for eric to do". Eric's the handyman who stays two streets away.

When there's enough things to warrant a visit, then I get him in because we are both useless at DIY. USELESS! So he'll come in, fix leak on washing machine pipe, put up a shelf, etc, etc.

Lisa said...

Jeff and I try to balance the hiring with how much money it will save verses how much our time is worth working or with family. If it is going to take 5 hours to do and cost $200, which is what he could make if he billed one hour in his practice it is an absolute no brainer. That said, Jeff likes some of the handy work we have to do around the house and would rather do it himself than pay plumber/electrician rates which are way higher than yard guys.

We have also accepted that some work just won't get done like it would in an ideal world because we can't work every single waking moment of the day. We absolute drop work/chores at 9 p.m. regardless of how high the pile of laundry is on the couch etc. and try to have at least one family centered event/activity every weekend.

Anonymous said...

oh please...the answer is obvious. Ask either me or your mother-in-law to do the clothes sorting (not to mention April would be more than happy to do more organizing). You are about ready to start "nesting" and you have no time/energy to do it. Love, Mom

freckletree. said...

found you at diagnosis urine.

dude, if you've got the money, hire somebody, no question. hubbs doesn't get to bitch if he can't get to it himself. hold on? does he get to bitch anyway? ever? am i mistaken or is there a giant parasite growing inside of you? aren't you about to push it out of your vagina after longs hours of exhausting pain? haven't you already been through this with TWINS? pretty sure you get whatever you want.

also, you are expecting waaaay too much. this isn't a time to push perfection. trust me, i'm a recovering perfectionist myself. you've got all of the signs and bad. what needs to happen, WILL happen. you need to focus on relaxing and enjoying your children as much as possible in these last weeks before everything changes.

much love and good luck.

Chris said...

I would love to help organize baby clothes for you this weekend (so little! so cute! so pink!). Totally hire someone to at least clean your house. We've had someone come every other week for years now -- it's cheaper than marriage counseling which is what we would probably need if I had to pick up after my husband all the time! : )

jerseygirl77 said...

Yes, if you've got the money to hire someone, DO IT. As for Ned's clothes, his entire summer and fall/winter wardrobe will be on its way to you next week. And it's all laundered, sorted, and folded. :-)

jerseygirl77 said...

Yes, if you've got the money to hire someone, DO IT. As for Ned's clothes, his entire summer and fall/winter wardrobe will be on its way to you next week. And it's all laundered, sorted, and folded. :-)

jerseygirl77 said...

I don't know why my comment posted twice!

KP said...

My son has those same jammies that your son is wearing. He calls them his "Moose A Moose Jammies" b/c they look like the Noggin characters. Don't know if that's accidental or on purpose. Love those pjs tho!

Nancy said...

Hm. how'd I miss this one..?

The way I got the house cleaners in our house..? I asked for $$ for one for Christmas last year. Mike STILL didn't want someone in, but because the money was specifically supposed to go to that, we counted it out and figured out how many times the ladies could come over...he seemed to be okay with that.

Once that time period was up, I heard, "Okay, if we stop eating out once a week, we can keep these guys!!" LOL!

I like Laura's idea though - give him a time period, if he doesn't do it all by then, hire someone :)