Friday, April 9, 2010


Before I went back to work more than a year ago I was the person in-charge of every aspect of Ned and Penny's life. I decided when it was time to nap and sleep train them, when to transition them to "solid" food and fretted about what to feed them for "table" food. Husband would just nod as I explained what other moms did (after consulting fellow moms, including my mom of twins group of course).

Now sometimes I come home and Husband says "Nanny April [and I] decided to start doing something differently today" - eliminating the bedtime bottle, switching Penny to sippy cups from bottles, eliminating the morning nap and other small transitions. Each are of course necessary but it is hard when I am not the one who planned for it, thought about how it would work, did a dry run, consulted my fellow moms, etc.

Last night they decided to have the kids sleep out of their sleep sacks because we've been unable to locate larger cotton sleep sacks in stores. Instead they were covered in blankets. I wasn't prepared for the transition. I hadn't consulted the MOTs! Is a loose blanket best or should we be "tucking them in" now? Won't their feet get cold?

I often assumed that my stay-at-home mom friends just decide themselves when transitions will occur sometimes get burned when they realize they can't power through a transition.

Part of this is linked to my Type A personality and I need to let it go but this is one part of the working mom psyche that I struggle the most with.

How do you handle transitions in your home?


Liz Jimenez said...

I won't lie, that's arguably one of the things I like best about being my kids' full-time caregiver. I am the one who decides when we're going to change something or give a new skill a try. Sometimes, yeah, it backfires. But it does satisfy my need to be in charge.

The flipside, of course, is that it can be kind of exhausting to always call the shots. Sometimes I just want someone ELSE (ahem, M) to do it, someone ELSE to decide, someone ELSE to make it happen. Not only is it hard work and there is always the "risk" it won't work, but then the only one I have to "blame" is myself. Obviously it isn't usually that dramatic, but it's not 100% perfect, either.

LauraC said...

Jon and I generally decide together. Sometimes the teachers at school gently guide us in the right direction :)

...although really, it's mostly me who is in charge but I "run" the idea past Jon and he always agrees with me :)

You should see how I worked this angle to get our downstairs bathroom redone this month. I am SNEAKY but effective!

susanne13 said...

I'm pretty sure it's safe to say that Jake decides his own transitions...nto surprising is it? :)

Jen said...

I'm with Goddess... I make all the decisions, but it is a burden and a blessing.

keep us posted on how the blankets work out. I put our guys in 'blanket sleepers' over snug-fit cotton pajamas with undershirts on cold nights. we also have one of those mica heaters high up on the wall so that I can keep their room warmer than the rest of the house.

Lisa said...

I really think it's the transitions with children that are the hardest part of early parenting. For a while with three kids all at different stages it seemed like life was one big, trying transition. For the most part, my kids had a hand in deciding when it was time to transition (i.e. by consistently climbing out of their cribs) but mostly I made the decisions and ran it past DH to finalize. I do believe it is easier once you have a younger baby to allow the older ones to continue on their progression of independence and capability.