Thursday, June 10, 2010

Rainy Day Ramblings

I went to a breastfeeding support group on Wednesday. I had gone a few times with Ned and Penny primarily as a way of getting out of the house but didn't stick with it because I felt like a fraud - what with pumping, and bottles, and some formula and a child that wouldn't eat and milk that wouldn't freeze properly. I was surprised how emotional I felt back in that room, insecure again with a new infant. Josie has only been eating every 4 hours (and at night has even gone 5 hours) and she takes forever and of course all that can run through my mind is whether she will be like Penny. She may look like Ned but she has the same tongue tie as Penny. And I'm already worried about reflux since Penny's was silent other than hiccups (which Josie has of course - most babies do).

Husband is not a fan of breastfeeding. I've noted that before with Ned and Penny and it is especially true this time around because I spend an hour or more feeding Josie and lots of time that impacts my ability to help with morning and bedtime with Ned and Penny. And soon he'll be travelling again (including a three day trip in two weeks). Yes, he should be more supportive but yes, I also understand where he is coming from - he wants this baby to be on a schedule even if I am not making him get up in the middle of the night. I want to make it work but man, the pull of a bottle is so strong - especially because I know I won't be pumping when I go back to work(personal choice the details of which I won't bore you but relate to frozen milk issues and job demands and sanity). Overall I feel better this time about breastfeeding but very, very nervous about reflux and if Josie is eating enough.

Ned and Penny are handling things rather well. I've been spending time with them during the day (sometimes I nurse Josie downstairs while they are playing). It was hard the other day when I noticed that Penny likes to give Nanny April hugs and kisses. She has never, ever, given me a kiss just because. I love that they love Nanny April but it would be nice to see her come to me too. Overall though I can be pretty pragmatic about working mom issues like that one - the kids spend so much time with their nanny that I would expect her to be their favorite.

Nanny April does so much around the house that my days and nights are relatively calm. Boring even. I've cleaned out my bathroom cabinet and drawer, am working on the home office spring clean up and I try to get out once a day to see a friend or do some errands.

I still think Josie looks like a "fatter" Ned (she has more weight in her face) but Husband does enjoy styling Josie's hair post-bath like he used to do Penny's. Penny is probably about 9-10 weeks in this photo.

I finally found an earlier one of Penny (she's probably 3 weeks old here):

Josie's mohawk:

This is the best I could do so far for a "group" photo:


T. said...

OMG, all three are sooo adorable!! I can't wait to see you and the soon as I come up for air from this never-ending move!!

Marcia (123 blog) said...

They are so cute - all 3 of them (love the hairstyle).

I was wondering how you and Nanny A are getting on. Do you feel like you're in each other's space?

And how far is the IVF cycle???

Deanna said...

So cute!! I am interested to hear your thoughts on a singleton after twins. I noticed you mentioned it a few posts back, and I look forward to hearing what you think about it! They are all three precious. : )

H said...

I love the group shot!

Almostima said...

Very cute! N&P look so grown up!

As for the emotional drama of breastfeeding/pumping/formula etc... boy does that bring back memories. For me, I think I'm going straight to formula on my next baby. I now blame that whole BF/pumping fiasco for a whole host of nuerosis and it is mainly the reason that I look back on my long maternity leave as a tough period in my life.

jerseygirl77 said...

So cute! Now that you posted that "hairstyle" photo, I really see that Josie looks like Ned. And if she's peeing, pooping, and gaining weight, she is getting enough to eat. Try not to stress!

A. said...

The difference between Josie and Penny at a few weeks old each is crazy! Josie looks so much bigger and more "cooked" :-). All three are adorable, of course - and that's not just coming from a biased auntie.

Re: breastfeeding - do what works best for you. There can be plenty of guilt either way (if you breastfeed, does it mean less time for the rest of your family? If you bottle feed, are you not giving Josie the best nutrition?) - just try to let it go (I know I had to, with both kids!) and be happy. Seems like you are all getting along pretty well.

Cheryl Lage said...

What an adorable the three-fer! Such a perfect captured moment.

Drew said...

They look great! As for breastfeeding... I think that if it works, it works. But if it does not, it could be horrible. It certainly did not work for me and I drew it out for 5 months (4 exclusive) and made myself a wreck in the process. It interfered with my relationship with my baby. Next kiddo I am going to formula after 1 week if it is not working well... Will try to have breastmilk in the loop for 1 month through pumping after that. And that is it! I already know there is no way I could pump or try to breastfeed with another child. I am not sure how you could do it with two others! You are my hero! Either way, DO NOT LET YOUR decision on Bfeeding take over your mind. Remember, you are a great mom! (that is what you told me by the way, I believe...)