Thursday, July 29, 2010

Convalescing

My trip to Urgent Care on vacation was followed by a middle of the night ER visit and another Urgent Care visit a few days later. Capping it off was a 16 hour trip home (we decided to do it in one day) and another doctor visit which resulted in ENT draining an abscess near my tonsils. I may be on the mend thanks to super strong antibiotics and the occasional narcotic but decided to escape the house and flew with Josie to Ohio. My excuse was for her to meet the extended family but since most are on vacation together this week elsewhere, the real reason is to have my parents-in-law watch Josie while I rest. And so far so good - she was a gem on the plan (man, it is EASY to travel with one almost 9 week-old) and I went straight back to bed this morning after I fed her while Bill and Debi took her on a walk.

Vacation photos to come once I'm back home (flight back early Saturday) and hopefully I'll be recovered enough to resume "normal" activities. But I've promised myself no more crazy busy plans while on maternity leave. I'm going to rest, see if I can get a breastfed baby on a schedule (yeah, right but advice welcome) and only focus on the most pressing matters. Let's see if I can keep to that promise.

Sunday, July 18, 2010

Tales from OBX: The Fun Will be Shoved Down Your Throat

We are here! The Internet was broken until my dad, computer and network genius (when he isn't transplanting livers) finally fixed it. The car trip was rough - two days with three kids in one minivan. I'm glad we had the car topper for storage - it meant I could sit in the back with Josephine every once in a while. And thank goodness for the DVD player we strung up for the kids to watch TV.

When we went to Martha's Vineyard last summer we brought more staples - having to buy all the staples for cooking was expensive. Not to mention the vast quantities of booze that were needed.

My sisters and I were all at the house by 4 pm on Saturday but none of the other families came until much later. There was some plan about a BBQ but that was thrown out the door in favor of pizza - a wise choice.

Unfortunately at that point I was feeling really, really awful. My throat had been hurting for 2 weeks and suddenly I couldn't swallow without intense pain and my right ear (it was the right side of my throat) was in pain too. I didn't sleep much and sent myself to a nearby Urgent Care. As I told Husband if I felt awful enough to desperately need a doctor - and that never happens. I was there 30 mins before it opened so I was the first person on the list.

It's either strep or tonsillitis or maybe mono. Since the doctor was going to put me on antibiotics I skipped the strep test. Needless to say I'm a bit of a wreck - I haven't been able to eat or drink anything in almost 2 days. Pain relievers don't relieve any of my pain and so I spent the better part of the afternoon in bed while my parents and husband watched Ned and Penny and took care of Josie. The twins love the pool and Ned loves the ocean. I haven't actually seen the beach yet except from the house deck. Josie is being her usual calm self which is much appreciated.

So our summer of sickness continues. July is apparently a terrible month for the Esq's health-wise ... it was a year ago we were in the hospital with Penny.

I haven't been able to take any photos but my dad is going to compile everyone's data online and then I will share some.

Wednesday, July 14, 2010

Splish Splash!

Here is a preview of Ned and Penny's beach attire. Penny is actually wearing the same rashguard shirt as last summer and Ned continues to benefit from all the great clothes my friend Lori sent this Spring. Maybe next Summer I will plan ahead to buy items when they are in stores - I guess March for summer clothes. These photos were taken at a local "splash park" where I had the enjoyment of the first poopy swim diaper ever. Nasty. Also, did you know you should bring some toys? I didn't so these are courtesy of other children who has abandoned them (temporarily?) in the "pool".



Click here if you want to see the photo collage larger.

The summer of sickness continues - the three kids have been to the doctor's collectively 5 times in two weeks. I decided not to go for Penny's hand-foot-and-mouth virus since it was so obvious. We leave Friday morning at 6:00 am (goal time) for Day One of our two day trip to North Carolina. Wish us luck - and good health!

Saturday, July 10, 2010

Date Night Disaster

Last night Husband and I went to dinner and I spent some of it crying and some of it angry. This seems par for the course since our first dinner out after we had Ned and Penny I was crying about breastfeeding.

While the sleep deprivation hasn't helped my mental state here are the things I've found myself upset over:

1. Time alone. The hardest part about having a nanny is that I am getting no down time. This sounds ridiculous but let me explain. If I'm not feeding Josie then I feel like I have to be with Ned and Penny since I'm not going to get a chance to be with them this much in the future once I go back to work. Our nanny also often wants me to come up with activities and do them with her. That I should be carting Josie to the twins' early intervention playgroup and music class, going on playdates, to the zoo, etc. and it is hard to say no. Then I'm trying to rush our nanny out the door at 5 pm to save some money on overtime and then I have to deal with infant clusterfeeding and cranky toddlers during the witching hour before Husband gets home - assuming he isn't traveling. To try to avoid being home I've been doing a million errands much of which involve the grocery store and cooking which of course decreases my downtime because after all the kids are in bed I'm preparing a meal and then getting to bed way too late (usually around 11 pm, with Josie up at 1 am, 4 am, 6 am and me not easily getting back to sleep). I'm also trying to get things done while I'm on leave - we have some home repairs I'm overseeing, car repairs, finding a lawyer for estate planning, the list goes on.

I decided I am going to ask my mom if I can spend 2-3 days a week at my parents' house that is about 15 miles away. I'll bring my laptop, maybe even buy some groceries and just stay there until 3 pm. The downside is that they have no central air and my little brother is often home (he's been unemployed for over a year). This might mean I can even nap - would you believe that I haven't had a nap in almost a month? They also have a fully loaded home gym and this way I won't have to stress about leaving Josie with April while I try to work out at a real gym. Maybe I can even find a personal trainer who will come to their house.

2. Lack of appreciation. My "management" personality is to provide praise and encouragement; Husband's is not. So while I am giving him kudos often for how great he is with Ned and Penny, the work he puts into managing our bills/finances and other things I don't ever get the same encouragement. As I explained to Husband I usually get that with my deal closings but now that I'm not working he needs to provide some of that validation since obviously if you are looking for validation toddlers and infants won't be providing you with much. I want him to appreciate all the efforts I go to organizing things, making dinner, grocery shopping, keeping our house picked up, doing his laundry, and other "homey" items.

3. Growing up. Husband is a slob. And I've reached my limit. Normally I can block it out since I'm at work so much and I'd rather not argue about it the small amount of time I see him each day. But I'm at home all the time and it surrounds me and I want to pull my hair out over his inability to be an adult about his possessions: the dirty laundry that is right next to the laundry basket instead of in it, the shoes he leaves everywhere for me and the kids to trip over, the dishes that never, ever, ever get into the dishwasher, the many glasses of water he leaves in the bedroom, well, you get the picture. In fact - here is visible proof of what I live with - our home office. Husband's response is that he isn't going to change and I have to just deal with it. But that isn't an acceptable answer. It cannot be that I have to pick up after FOUR children instead of the three I gave birth to. While Nanny April does a lot to pick up after him we won't have a nanny forever and he needs to act like a 34 year old adult instead of a fraternity brother. Of course we didn't talk in the car ride home and when we did get home Husband took his shoes off and left them in the middle of the path to the front door two feet from the shoe rack I purchased and set up so that he could put his shoes out of the way. If his parents hadn't been there I would have chucked his damn shoes at him.

We haven't discussed this again but I have been angry and upset enough that I had a million dreams last night arguing with him about his lack of consideration for his possessions, our house, himself and most importantly, ME! Apparently my spleen continues to need venting since I'm taking this to the Internet.

Many months ago I tried to get him on board with meeting with and paying someone to help us get organized and he refused. I view this as I do marriage counseling - if you think you want to divorce and you have kids you can't say no to marriage counseling, it isn't an option. I don't think Husband can say no to my demands that he pick up after himself. I don't want our house and our lives to sink to the lowest common denominator. I don't want to feel like I am treading water and just surviving but to feel organized and in charge and a clean, de-cluttered house would go a long way.

What do you all think? Am I being unreasonable to expect him to pick up his possessions and put them away? To figure out a way that he will do so? Right now all I can think of is to treat him like a child and starting "throwing out" (hiding) items that he leaves around the house until he learns; but I don't want to treat my husband, my partner and co-parent as a child.